Stopping Slander

How can slander be stopped so the body is not utterly destroyed? The cure begins with understanding the disease. Slander is a "cop-out," an excuse to air grievances without accepting the responsibility to work through a problem. Those who relay slander become party to the sin and compound it still further. Only if the slanderer is confronted -- hard as that may be -- can the wasting disease be isolated and prevented from tearing down the entire body. Confrontation is just what Doctor Jesus ordered.
Jesus commanded: "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you" (Matthew 18:15). If he does not listen, we are to approach him again with one or two others, hoping to find reconciliation (vs. 16). If he will not listen to them we are to bring it to the church (vs. 17). By the same token Jesus tells us to confront the brother who bears some grudge against us (Matthew 5:24). If we are to avoid the destruction of slander we must be "up front" with one another, earnestly seeking to resolve our differences.
What if our pastor sins against us? A leader's angry words can cause a hurt which burrows deeply. We are to treat a pastor just as we would another brother or sister: privately seek to restore the relationship with gentleness (Galatians 6:1; Matthew 18:15). Spreading a story without confronting the pastor involves us in sin and threatens the health of the whole church. Only if the shepherd refuses to acknowledge the sin and repent, should the problem be brought before others. The church should be informed in an orderly way (Matthew 18:16-17) and the leader publicly rebuked (1 Timothy 5:19-20).
Since anger is the root of slander, we must guard against our own anger, lest it "give the devil (literally, 'the slanderer') a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26-27). When angry we must seal our lips. Giving anger time to cool permits us the perspective either to overlook a hurt or to seek reconciliation. Slander is forbidden to us (1 Peter 2:1; Titus 3:2). We dare not breathe its "scorching fire" (Proverbs 16:27-28).
Even though we bear no grudge, we must be on the lookout lest we be sucked in to passing slander along. Instant recognition of degrading gossip is vital. We should stop the tale-bearer in mid-sentence, if necessary. We ought to challenge our Christian brothers, "Have you confronted the person with this?" To give ear to a nasty tale will not only injure our spirit but encourage gossipers to continue their destruction. We will either be part of the problem or part of the solution.
We sift our words through God's grid:
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:29, 31- 32)

Nimble tongues itch to tell a tale. Inquiring minds want to know. But the Church's health hinges on our willingness to submit our stories to His standard -- peace in place of strife, up-building exchanged for a wrecking ball. "Blessed are the peacemakers," Jesus taught, "for they will be called sons of God" (Matthew 5:9).

Dr. Ralph Wilson is a California pastor, director of Joyful Heart Renewal Ministries, and author of more than a dozen free online Bible studies from the Old and New Testaments. (www.jesuswalk.com/ebooks). Copyright © 2006, Ralph F. Wilson: pastor@joyfulheart.com. All rights reserved.